Click the buttons above to put those elements in your life. Scroll down for a deeper dive into each element.
Watch the video below to get informed, equipped, and inspired to overcome porn.
Scroll down for even more resources.
Watch the video below to get informed, equipped, and inspired to overcome porn.
Scroll down for even more resources.
HOW TO USE THESE RESOURCES
The resources below will give you what you need if you give them what they need: time. I recommend giving yourself an hour to go through the videos, articles, and documents. If you can't sit down for an hour today, make a plan to split it up over the next few days.
The resources below will give you what you need if you give them what they need: time. I recommend giving yourself an hour to go through the videos, articles, and documents. If you can't sit down for an hour today, make a plan to split it up over the next few days.
1. Filtering Software
The first step to overcome solitary sins of lust is avoiding whatever leads you to sin. We can accomplish this step by installing filtering software on our devices.
Covenant Eyes is simply the best software out there to beat porn. It includes filtering software and accountability features, which are a powerful combination to find freedom.
Jesus says to the man at the pool of Bethesda, "Do you want to be well?" (John 5:6). If we haven't taken this step in the battle for freedom, the honest answer is, "No." Have the humility and courage to take this no-nonsense step to remove the near occasion of sin from all your devices.
2. Self-Knowledge
With the filtering software in place, we can begin the interior work of growing in self-knowledge. The better we know ourselves, the better we will be able to break free of our attachment to lust.
Recognizing Rituals
Fr. Sean Kilcawley describes the elements of a typical pattern or “ritual” of compulsive behavior. Knowing the elements and the pattern can help you to recognize your own rituals, which will allow you to break free.
Identifying Triggers
Matt Fradd describes the “porn activation sequence,” which begins when we are triggered by some external stimulus. Removing triggers from our life and having an exit strategy for when we are triggered are essential for attaining freedom.
Printable: Trigger Assessment
Put what you learned in the previous two videos into practice with this trigger assessment form. It will help you identify what triggers you to look at porn and/or masturbate as well as come up with an exit strategy for when you are triggered.
3. Plan of Life
With growth in self-knowledge, we are better able to make a plan of life. When our day is full of genuine relationships, meaningful work, and authentic leisure, we are less attracted to the cheap thrills of lust.
Sobriety Plan
Fr. Sean Kilcawley describes how to implement a “sobriety plan” - a plan of life to help you attain freedom by removing triggers and including a healthy balance of friendship, exercise, and good leisure in your life.
Printable: Three Circles
Put what you learned in the previous video into practice with this form.
4. Accountability
Jesus called a group of twelve to be His apostles, and He sent them out two by two. Overcoming pornography is not a solo battle either. Think of the person you know that you can trust and ask them to help you in your struggle for freedom.
Allies and Covenant Eyes
This video from Covenant Eyes describes the benefit of having an accountability partner in the struggle to overcome porn.
Iron Sharpens Iron
This article by Bobby Angel describes his need for an accountability partner to overcome porn, even when regularly going to Confession.
Accountability Contract
It often happens that well-intentioned friends fail to help in the pursuit of freedom because they lack concrete direction for how to be an accountability partner. Use this contract to make your accountability relationship as fruitful as possible.
Once you have an accountability partner, have him or her also check out these resources:
Other Resources
With those elements in place, your path to freedom will begin to come into focus. If you need to confess these sins in the future, also tell the priest what steps you have taken to overcome them. That will help him give you better counsel. Here are some other resources to help you in your journey:
Let's Talk About Porn
A comprehensive talk on the subject by Fr. Greg Gerhart at St. Mary's in November 2019
Funnel of Care
Video by Fr. Sean Kilcawley: Other interventions possible for overcoming pornography and masturbation if I am still stuck
Strive 21
Program by Matt Fradd: a 21-day detox from pornography for men. You will receive 21 emails in 21 days with 21 videos helping you to learn the dynamics of breaking free from addiction.
40-Day Challenge
Program by Covenant Eyes: a 40-day challenge for women and men to overcome pornography. You will receive 40 emails in 40 days with 40 videos helping you to learn the dynamics of breaking free from addiction.
Uncompromising Purity
Book by Kelsey Skoch with Everett Fritz for women that provides encouragement and practical strategies to overcome these and other addictions and temptations that keep women from living in freedom.
Integrity Restored
Education, training, encouragement, and resources to break free from pornography, heal relationships, and to assist parents in preventing and responding to pornography exposure.
The Porn Myth
Book by Matt Fradd that provides insightful arguments, including the latest scientific research, exposing the negative impact pornography has on our minds, our relationships, and our culture. It addresses the neurological reasons porn is addictive, helps individuals learn how to be free of porn, and offers real help to parents and the spouses of porn users.
